I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
