I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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