so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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