thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Its about making memories worth repressing
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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