smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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