Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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