so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
