I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
