I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
