Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
