i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize