It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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