Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
