Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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