just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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