READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
