Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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