She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
My brain says no but my pants say off.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
