my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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