the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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