we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize