Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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