My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
