he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I just had sex on a roof
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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