over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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