8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
