Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
