I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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