I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
