I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
ttyl tear gas
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
