Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
