he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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