i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
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