oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I currently don't understand fingers.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize