i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
