fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
