my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
