There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
this hospital has no fireball
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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