Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
