i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
