please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize