Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
