And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
