I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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