Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize