I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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