considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize