I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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