the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
