Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
