i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
