how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
