I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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