No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
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