If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
you didnt know i had herpes?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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