I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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