It's Friday. Sex?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
