I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I AM VODKA MAN
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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