these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
