Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I'm always down for nudity.
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