That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
