Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize