doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
The police scanner is talking about you again....
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize