I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
no, he came in my armpit
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
