what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
